vstheworld:

dynastylnoire:

troubledsurvivors:

Just because someone was abused in the past doesn’t mean they have the right to abuse you.

BOYYYYYYYYY

that’s literally the cycle of abuse there, fam.

see when you grow up in a shitty abusive situation like that, you can really deal with it one of two ways—you a) survive out of sheer spite, because you’ll be good and goddamned if they manage to turn you into a monster just like them, or you b) survive by turning inward so much that you’re essentially walled in your own defense mechanisms, to the point that literally every other human in the world is a threat. which makes total sense to you, because that’s been your only experience.

and it sucks inside that cocoon. it’s lonely, with just the nasty things in your head for company. it is so, so easy to resent the whole world around you because it seems like it operates on another plane of existence you were never even meant to touch. and when the whole world was always a threat, well, your stress response, the way you lash out, is so simple to talk yourself into being okay with. and that’s a slippery scale—if you can scream when you’re a little stressed and you can throw shit when you’re really stressed, is a slap that big a deal, in context, if your partner really pushed you? if they said something they knew would hurt you? your partner had it so much easier than you did, after all. comparatively, it’s not even a bruise. it’ll be gone in an hour. they’re just overreacting because they know how bad you feel about it, they’re trying to make you feel bad. you didn’t hit them hard enough to make them cry.

yes, abusers are scared. yes, they’re so locked in that shell, they might as well be in a different dimension. their logic is violent animal logic and it will never ever make sense to people that didn’t experience that sort of casual cruelty from the people that were supposed to be biologically wired to protect them.

but that started with a choice. that’s a spiral you have to, at some point, choose to go down. and abusers made the wrong. goddamn. choice.