Because no one else will finish off the chicken in the fridge
Don’t kill yourself today
Because I know for a fact that Starbucks is releasing a new Frappuccino sometime next month
Yes, your mother will miss you
Yes your bully will make a sappy Facebook post about how what a a wonderful person you were
And yes
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
You know that
You’ve known that
Everyone and anyone has been shoving that down your throat since they first learned what the word suicide meant
So don’t kill yourself
Until you finish your shampoo and conditioner at the same time
Don’t kill yourself
Until Doctor Who is finally cancelled
Don’t kill yourself
Until you tell someone your best pasta recipe
Don’t kill yourself
Because I will keep coming up with reasons for you not to
And I need you
To hear all of them
Don’t kill yourself
I love you
You’re important
It’s a bad day
Not a bad life
There is more to this
The world will keep spinning on its axis without you
But
Think of all the sunrises you’d miss
I know this sounds pointless
But when you’re sitting in front of everything deadly you own
Revising your goodbyes
There will be too much darkness
To see anything else
But this is not about seeing anything else
This is about turning off the lights
This is about finding the bed instead of the noose
This is about giving yourself one more day
Even if it takes ten thousand of those
One more morning’s
Until
“I can’t wait for tomorrow”
This is about staying alive
Because there’s gonna be a new Marvel movie
No one should miss that
This is about staying alive
Because the future is coming
And it’s ready for you
I don’ t need you to see it
I just need you to believe you can make it
Until then
– Hannah Dains
Everyone needs to see this. I dont care what kind of blog you run or what kind of person you are. You can take the few seconds to reblog this. I know some of my followers will need to see this, and so i will reblog for them. Even if its just one or two, they deserve to see this, and to be happy. Always reblog. Always.
I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™
This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.
TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN MULANEY: I normally don’t notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? I’ve been zoned out since 2014.
AUDEINCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I just – all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere – I was at the doctor’s office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, “nah, I’m gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughts”.
AUDIENCE MEMBER WHOOPS
MULANEY: I was like, “huh. None of the Beatles had moustaches… but then one day, all of them had moustaches.”
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “That’s weird, I can’t think of a time a group has done that”. Some people in my life don’t want me to zone out as much – they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I don’t know if you’ve ever tried meditating, but I’ve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS –
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight! Alright?! It’s never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, I’d be the Dalai Lama.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: I don’t like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Don’t bother! The moment is mediocre at best!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: I mean, it’s fine. Let’s all try right now – let’s all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.
AUDIENCE LAUGHS/APPLAUDS
MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden you’re like “oh my god, I’m driving!” and you remember? You’re like –
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “I’m going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I could’ve changed so many lives!” Sometimes, my wife – I have this wife – she’ll be like, “are you watching the road?” and I’m always like, “I am looking through the windshield.”
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
MULANEY: “And I’m not gonna hit anyone, but no. I’m thinking about the Beatles.”
Hey @vulpeculavolans added a transcript to this AND THAT IS SO AWESOME THANK YOU SO MUCH!
this is the best and most relatable thing I’ve ever seen
“listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast”
also I was instructed by my therapist to meditate this week and one problem I brought up was the sitting thing, and I still have not done it
In my PokémonGO adventures, I come across the oddest events. This is my first field report to Professor Willow, as I observe a mismatched Pokémon pair who prove kindness warms the coldest Winter!
It’s possible for a grown man standing a couple of feet away, but we’re talking about a little kid hurling it from a bike out on the street, and nobody folds newspapers that tightly (I know–I was a paper girl when I was a kid).
Paperboy still lied to us. You don’t know how disappointed I was to never find that obstacle course at the end of my route.
Are you just going to gloss over the fact it’s in time with the Evangelion theme?
The NewDugWood Daily Titbit 