Urgent Need Of Help (TW)

thatpoptartman:

thatpoptartman:

I’m pretty upset and never thought I’d be in a situation like this. I know I don’t post much about my personal life on Tumblr and I try to keep my Tumblr a positive zone/place. So first of I’ll drop a TRIGGER WARNING in as I will be talking about my back story to explain what’s been happening in the past year and how I’ve got in this predicament in the first place and it involves some senstive topics (self harm, suicide, death)

At the beginning of this year unfortunately my mental health started to get worse and I ended relapsing with self harm (3 years I hadn’t self harmed for) My dysphoria got pretty bad this year as well and I took a loan out of desperation to pay for my top surgery which was £4500 ($6000) I saved up the rest of the £1500 I needed for my surgery with my job. My finical status was a lot better back then and I could afford to pay it back even though the repayments were quite high. The day after I had my top surgery my dad passed away and that’s when things went to worse to unbearable and I experienced a heartache that I’ve never experienced in my whole life. I was forced to start using my credit cards to help pay for my time off while I was out of work because all of my statutory sick pay was for my loan repayments. 3 Weeks after my top surgery I was supposed to go back to work, I ended up trying to kill myself at work and overdosing at work and being taken to hospital. Between April and May I was in my local mental health unit 3 times and I tried to kill myself once more.I was also temporally made homeless at the beginning of June due to my mother kicking me out for about 2 weeks and I was denied help by my local council estate due to them not seeing me as vulnerable enough for emergency housing. 

Fast forward to June where I was forced to go back to work because my sick pay has run out and I’m starting to struggle with money and being able to buy food. Things were starting to look up but they started to get worse in the last month or so again and I’m really struggling with coping at work again and I’ve been forced to take time of but it has to be unpaid because I have no sick pay left I had no option to take time of otherwise I would end up getting fired because my work place does not know what to do and can’t cope with my break downs anymore.

I plan on going back to work in the next 2/3 weeks but I’ve already missed two weeks work this month because I’ve been sent home every time and I will be so short next month and I won’t be able to afford food or pay my bills. On top of that I’m trying my hardest to put extra cash aside because I want to move into a more positive environment which will help with my mental health. It also being the Festive period and the first without my dad and it’s really taking it’s toll on me.

I’m really sorry for positing this and sorry for asking of this but I really don’t know what else to do and I wouldn’t do this if I had no other options. Sorry for the long post also.

This is my paypal link if you want to donate to me: https://www.paypal.me/RLuttman

If you can’t donate please signal boost or even just sending positive vibes my way would help and I would appreciate it. Thank you for reading this long post, again I’m sorry for having to post this.

Just to also add I’m currently looking through my belongings that I have, to sell to hopefully help with this as well.

I’m so sorry to reblog this again